“This is Me Trying” is the ninth track on Taylor Swift’s 2020 album ‘Folklore.’ The song entangles the topics of Taylor’s shift from Country music to Pop and also admitting her mistakes that lead to her past breakups.
Taylor Swift announced her 8th studio album ‘Folklore‘ just a few hours ahead of the album release on July 24, 2020. The album had no singles prior to the album release, and Taylor stated the reason for the ‘surprise’ album release as the “uncertainty” surrounding the world right now.
The song title reminisces of the lyrics of “Back to December” from Taylor’s ‘Speak Now’ album. In the song, she sings “this is me swallowing my pride/Standing in front of you/Saying I’m sorry for that night.”
Listen to “this is me trying” by Taylor Swift
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“this is me trying” Lyrics Meaning and Song Review
Taylor Swift starts off by saying that she has had a hard time adjusting… to what? She leaves this an open ended statement. Presumably, a lot has changed in her 30 years of existence on this planet. She went from being a timid and homely Country music girl to one of the biggest Pop stars in the world. She ran through a list of boyfriends before settling with current boyfriend Joe Alwyn. Her mother, Andrea Swift is battling a cancer. It’s a lot on her plate.
Taylor says that her shiny wheel are rusting now. Possibly a reference to her preference of calm and seclusion now as opposed to stardom and fame a few years back.
She also says that if she does not if people want her back–back in the media, concerts, back to a Pop era. And this also references to her relationships as well. A relationsip that she had to move on from, she cannot help but wonder about “what ifs.”
Taylor Swift lets us/him/them know that she is trying, the best she can. She has a lot of balls to juggle at once–her own sanity, career goals, fans, relationships, parents, friends, money, image, and the list goes on and on. And sometimes this can feel like too much weight on a single person. This is when people crack!
In the second verse, Taylor Swift confesses about being told that all her “problems” are just manifestations of her mentality–nothing real, but it’s all in her head. She had nowhere to run except to alcohol. That certainly stops the mind from being active.
She was also told that her words shoot to kill when she is mad. The only heated topics Taylor had addressed in her public life were related to fighting for equal rights for women and politics.
I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere
To be ahead of the curve is to be have a better grasp of the situation than everyone else so you make better choices. However, how can one be ahead of the curve when the curve completes itself and becomes a circle?! Your life comes to a full stop or rather an infinite loop of nothingness.
Taylor must have poured his heart out to so many boyfriend along the years to share her pain. But we all know how those turned out to be until her present relationship. But at least she did not become an alcoholic or a druggie, crumbling under the pressure of life.
These lyrics reveal that Taylor Swift, one of the biggest artists in the world, also has a life behind the curtains–one filled with pain. But she always put on a smile and held her head straight up for her friends and family, the public, for the fans, for the media, for the countless award ceremonies she attended. In that sense, she is a superwoman!
And she continues to keep on trying…
Let us know what you think about this song in the comments below. Check out the complete lyrics and further meaning breakdown on Genius.