“everything i wanted” is the brand new release by Billie Eilish following her debut studio album ‘WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?‘ released in March 2019. This new single likely represents the beginning of a new era for Billie Eilish towards her sophomore studio album.
Billie Eilish announced the new single on November 11th on Twitter and Instagram. There were no teases, just a clean announcement of the song and revelation of the song title. The full track dropped on November 14, 2019.
In an interview with Annie Mac on BBC Radio 1, Billie Eilish explained the meaning of “everything i wanted;” “
Pretty much that whole song is about me and Finneas’ relationship as siblings. We started writing it because I literally had a dream that I killed myself and nobody cared and all of my best friends and people that I worked with basically came out in public and said, like, “Oh, we never liked her.” In the dream, the fans didn’t care. The internet shit on me for killing myself, all this stuff, and it really did mess me up. I mean, the message behind the song is like my brother is my best friend, and I have these dreams and these things happen, and no matter what happens, he’s gonna always be there for me, and it’s the same the other way around.
Finneas has been Billie’s producer and assistant lyricist throughout her career. Finneas is given lyrics credits on this new song as well.
Listen to “everything i wanted” by Billie Eilish below.
Download “everything i wanted” Single on Apple Music and Amazon
In the first verse of “everything i wanted,” Billie explains a nightmare she had. In this dream, Billie had the ability to fly, or at least she thought she did. Interestingly enough, this ability is what she refers to as “everything” she wanted. She talks about stepping on to the Golden Gate Bridge in San Fransico, California. It is no coincidence that the Golden Gate Bridge is a very popular suicide site in the world. So, Billie takes off the Golden Gate Bridge and she sees the aftermath. There is nobody that is crying for her. There is nobody to say a prayer for her. It is not the death that scared Billie in this nightmare, it is this cruel aftermath.
Pre-chorus is a carry off from the first verse, in which Billie sings that she has a big brother to comfort her when things get bad. In her life outside of nightmares, she feels safe with her brother, Finneas.
Billie Eilish narrates the reassuring words muttered by her brother in the chorus of this song. She is often subject to compliments such as “they don’t deserve you.” Finneas also has the task of trying to change his sisters’ perspective about herself. Billie Eilish is known to put herself down, and her brother is known to pick her up. As per Finneas, her sister only needs a change of attitude about herself. Her millions of fans would agree.
In the second verse of the song, Billie Eilish draws a picture of her death in the nightmare. Water was creeping up her head and her attempts scream become futile. People have a knack to call suicide victims as ‘weak’ because they could not fight through their problems. But this is far from the truth. What needs to be severely addressed are the reasons that made that person commit to such an unfortunate fate. Those reasons should be weeded out.
Billie Eilish has a massive following on social media around the world. Her songs such as “bury a friend,” “bad guy” and “you should see me in a crown” have all helped her gain a massive spotlight in the industry. But these highs also come with some severe lows. She never knows if her fans love her for who she is or they love her music. She does not know if she could call any one of them a true friend. Billie is scared of this plain truth. With popularity comes isolation.
Being popular on a global scale also exposes you to some real dark sides of fame. Celebrities get bashed on social media on a daily basis and get exposed to some real bitter comments. Any new material released is a nerve-wracking experience. One flop is all it takes for an entire career to be over. So it is not surprising that celebrities end up developing anxiety, depression and serious mental conditions.
During the outro of “everything i wanted,” Billie questions her actions in hindsight. If she knew the aftermath of her death, would she still do it? If people knew that their words could have dire consequences, would they still utter those words or would they change them? These questions will forever be open.
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Update:
Billie Eilish dropped the music video for “everything i wanted” featuring her brother Finneas and as a tribute to him. Watch below.